Late night calls result in little heart attacks

Okay, Alexandra is safely back at school after four months of summer break, the third semester will begin in a few days. Originally she wanted to room with a friend from last year, but during the summer the girl withdrew because she couldn’t afford living in a dorm anymore and has to commute. I was more bummed than Alexandra who now knows none of her suitemates but says she’s not worried.  I hope we don’t have the same drama as in the first semester.

Date: Wed, 31 Aug 2011: Hey Sweetie,

How are you? Take care of yourself. We miss you very much, but will see you this weekend, yayyy

Until soon, Mom

heyyy

miss you too but i hung out with my friends yesterday so it was like nothing changed since last year so its good
i met my other suitemates yesterday, they seem pretty nice but room change day is sept 11th so we'll see till then how it goes
love you!

Tue, 6 Sep 2011 Hey, good morning,

You forgot Tracey's Biology book. I hope it's okay when I bring it up with your other stuff, and not too late for her.

Have a wonderful week,

Mom

oh man im such an idiot but yea i told her and she said it was okay she doesnt really need it yet and if she does shes gonna tell her teacher that she ordered it online and that it hasnt come in yet. but i also left soo many other things at home!

List: 

my black and purple fuzzy slippers (they're prob under one of the beds or in the loft area or in the shoe box)

my round brush (need it to blow dry my hair)

my sweat pants (should be on the banister)

and i think thats it lol for now

xo alexandra

Okay, I'll make a run up there this week and also bring your bagels. Mom (she has an apartment with three other girls, and a kitchen with fridge/freezer, sink and microwave, stove/oven is in a common kitchen downstairs.

Wednesday Sept. 7, 2011

Hi Alex,

You better be in your 8AM class.

Please send me the list of things you need me to bring up tonight, yellow shorts, bikini top (which one).

Love, Mom

PS: When you call us that late at night, we are having little heart attacks

This college experience is falling into place, boohoo

Thursday, 17 February 2011

Do I pick you up around 4pm tomorrow?

We can go to the Met (art museum in NY for a project) either on Saturday after your hair appointment because it is open until 9pm on Saturdays, or on Sunday. Whatever you prefer but I need to ask Dad if he can drive on either day. Later, Mom

ummmmm idk i need to see when you are getting me tomorrow but idk what time yet i will call you either tonight or tomorrow morning after my class
and saturday would be easier cuz i wanna come back on sunday at like 2 in the afternoon cuz i have meetings and stuff on sunday and monday
anyways i paid with my debit card online the 125 for housing it was easier than going to the student housing because my friend said it was hell giving them a check for some reason so i still have ur check i can give back to you and it said pay with visa credit but i put my visa debit number down....it said it went through so im hoping it actually paid so i guess we'll find out
anyways today is my first pledge meeting my pledge class is 14 girls and we have our last mixer tonight and then i cant drink anymore sooooooo ill talk to you tomorrow and stuff
bye, Alexandra

Tuesday, February 22, 2011 So how was induction? How long did it go and what did you do?

i got my new member pin that i have to wear all the time for 6 wks .....thats all im allowed to tell you lol but it was nice =]

Thu, 24 Feb 2011: What are your plans for this weekend? Let me know, Mom

i'm staying up here cuz i have so much to do

The whole weekend?

Idk, mom, Ill let you know Friday

Well, Friday came and went and she decided to stay on campus all weekend, which is the first time since she started college that she didn’t come home. I felt a little bereft. Then I realized I should be grateful that she is maturing and finding her place in school. She was not homesick at all, hung out with her friends, did homework and studied. She called us on Sunday night because she thought she had a virus on her computer, and Dad guided her through the process of running the AVG program to scan and erase the virus. Other than that, she was just doing her own thing up there (on campus) and we had better get used to the idea.

This empty nest is starting to grow on us!

Notice the time span between emails. I am not contacting her every day anymore.

Tue 2/1/2011: hey so nothing is really going on this weekend so i think i might come home either friday or sat... ill let you know though

Thursday 2/3/2011: sooo i think im gonna come home on saturday at like noonish cuz on friday i wanna like do homework and go to the gym and stuff
but on the way home do u think we can stop at like the mall? i just need some things for mixers and stuff nd i think the bigger malls have a better selection so i can get stuff for cheaper than at our mall

Friday 2/4/2011: Yes, I can pick you up tomorrow around noonish, and stop at the mall.

What did you do last night? Be careful tonight, love mom

okay cool
im just planning on doing productive stuff today...gym hw im not going out tonight cuz i just dont feel like it

(Do I notice a little maturing/growing up here?…it does a mother good.) Side note from me, the mother: If you compare the first semester to the second, there is a lot less correspondence going on. I am more at ease. I don’t wake up in the middle of the night worrying anymore, at least on days I know she’s not at a frat party. The students seem to have calmed down, settled, figured out some things. My husband and I are a little lost being home without her, but that too is getting better. We are enjoying each other’s company more. I keep busy with a college course, only one at a time, and writing novels. Of course I also work full time during the day, but the evenings would be long without these activities. She still comes home every weekend, but it sounds as if that will be changing, too.

Playing with the fishies, in college

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 Hi Alex,

I set the “I survived Algebra” cake into the kitchen at work and the folks flocked to it like the birds outside our house when I put the seeds out.

When I came home last night, Max was still saving the bone you gave him and then ate it when Dad and I were home. He wanted to hold on to your present.

What did you all do last night? Mom

awww max is so cute
okay so today i had precalc from 11:15 to 12:05 and then i had bio from 12:30 to 1:20 and at 4:30 i have sociology
tomorrow i have fine arts from 9:30 to 10:45 and i have psych at 11:00 to 12:15 and then i have bio from 12:30 to 3:15

tomorrow i have pre calc 11:15 to 12:05 then bio from 12:30 to 1:20 then i have sociology at 4:30 to 5:45 pm
thursday i have art and psych and then friday i just have precalc
yesterday i hung out with tina and josy and did hw

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 I see that you had classes back to back since 9:30 this morning until 3:15 this afternoon. You must be exhausted and hungry. Please make sure you have food or snack or something with you since you don’t have time to go to lunch until after 3 and by then you will be cranky and hate life. How did it go today? What did you do in fine arts? Did you eat??

How’s your schedule for the rest of the week? Always thinking of you, Mom

yeah i brought snacks with me
fine arts is weird...my professor talked about the falling snow and how its in the foreground of life or something for like 20 min then we drew lines on paper and talked about shading for the rest of the class
bio was fun today i was playing with fishies!

Wed, 26 Jan 2011: Played with the fishies? Nice.

Is pre calc still doable? Are you able to understand and keep up?

When do you have time to “meet the Greeks” today? Mom

meet the greeks was cancelled nd pushed to monday cuz of the weather
math is pretty good.

The first "We're Hiring" signs have been sighted...

Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2011 Good morning, How was the meeting last night? Good luck today in your first course. Mom

the meeting was good! i really like the RAs and the people on my floor are really nice its kinda like a family thats what the RAs made it feel like

Hey, times must be getting better, Wendy’s is hiring, with a big sign outside. I haven’t sign help wanted signs for years.

Well, that’s good, that you’re not the only new kid on the floor, so six others moved to your floor, cool. I liked that one RA I met, she seems tough and dependable. I have a good feeling about this semester, too. Love, Mom

Wed, 19 Jan 2011: Hey, what did your friends say about your tattoo?

they love ittttt

 (Of course)

okay so i bought most of my books and it comes to 442.06....u could just round that up to 1000 hahaha just kidding (no im not!)
i had my first precalc class today and i love my professor so i think im gonna stay with it :)
this semester is gonna be good but im gonna be sooo busy! i already had a lab to do in bio on the first day! but my professor is really nice! so ill have a lot of school work and pledging so since ill be up 24/7 i think i should bring my little pink lamp back to school so i dont have to have the big light and keep my roomate awake
okay ill see you friday.... im not homesick at all like if i wasnt coming home to make calzones for dad’s birthday, i would just stay up here! hahaha well thats not the only reason but yeah i dont feel the need to come home to get away from everything i can actually come home because i want to not because im stressed here lol but i will be home this weekend =]

Well, that’s good to hear that you want to come home, and it’s also good to hear that you like it up there. You sound a lot better than last semester. When will you be done tomorrow? I will leave here around 3PM, so be there around 4:15 if that’s all right.

I will transfer $500 into your account, please budget, it’s more important than getting money handed all the time. You will have enough for the semester.

If you would stay in school this weekend, what would you do? Are there others who are staying? Just wondering, b/c last semester it looked as if the whole campus went home every weekend. Is it different now? I know during pledging you will stay there, but why now?

Another thing: I know tonight is party night and we are expecting several inches of snow, starting around midnight. Please stay off the roads, do not go too far, maybe only to one you can get to by foot. It is so dangerous to drive in newly fallen snow, please be extremely careful. Ttyl, Mom

okay i get done at 12:05 tomorrow cuz i only have 1 class yay! so yeah 4:15 works for me
a lot of ppl do go home but i guess cuz its second semester people would rather stay cuz they are used to this college thing already lol
and im walking tonight lol

Your new roommate is a what!?

Please do not call out tomorrow. It’s too last minute and you better get a stronger work ethic going or you can kiss your internet phone good bye.
That’s not to piss you off, it’s to help you in the future. You can’t have everything handed to you all the time, you work when you’re scheduled, you get that phone. Always remember, I love you. I have to be tough sometimes. Love always, Mom

okay so i moved my printer, my tv, my laundry basket full of miscellaneous stuff in it, a bag full of the little things on my desk, and my kitchen things like plate, bowl, cup and utensils all into my new room =] they all seem really nice and fun so it should be good, except my new roommate is a lesbian..... should be interesting
and i packed all my stuff except my bedding so hopefully u remember to bring the big box it came in to move out, we can pick up the rolly bins we used on move in day at X Hall
okay see you tomorrow

Dear Math, after today's final, I am officially done with you forever. Sorry to hurt your feelings... but damn, am I excited.

Al, You should receive your battery charger this afternoon via UPS (forgot it at home after the weekend). Let me know when it arrives. Also let me know asap if you can move some of your stuff into the new room. Good luck on your finals, mine is tonight. Mom

good luck, i have part 1 tomorrow...prob gonna fail it even though i studied all day yesterday and all day today like legit but all i can do is my best because he is the worst teacher ever i sat in that class for 3 months and didnt learn a damn thing oh well hopefully my pre calc professor wont be a hundred years old and wont do things the old fashioned way and when the tutor tells me how to do it the new and improved easy way that i actually understand, my professor wont mark it wrong. i didnt get my cable yet im in the computer lab, i just fb messaged my new roommate asking if it would be a problem to move my stuff in though it shouldn’t be
okay im gonna go eat lunch and then study some more

It’s scheduled to arrive around 3pm. Wish me luck for tonight. I’m actually psyched for my math final. Mom

Wednesday, Dec 15: Text: How did it go? Mom

It was okay but part 2 on Friday is gonna be so hard

Thursday, December 16, 2010: Sweetie, Oma will light a blessed candle for you all day tomorrow, like she did for me. I really felt the power of it go through me during the test, it kept me strong and clear headed, and I was able to do all the problems.
Concentrate on the power of the blessed candle burning for you overseas and let it go through you. Hey, you can even ask the prof if something is unclear, kids in my class went to her desk constantly. Try to study as much as you can today, even go to the tutor if you can, or better yet, could you ask the professor for help? And please do not go out partying tonight, it will not be good. Be strong and do your best, I just hope you studied math along the way, not try to cram it all in now. You can’t cram for math, it all builds up and you need to stay on top of it from the beginning.
Let me know if you’re moving stuff into your new room. Good luck, Mom

Email from mom's friend to me, Heather:
Are you kidding? No one (except maybe the Asians) in this generation put as much into studying as you do!  No kids have that work ethnic anymore about anything.  I'm sure you did great. 

Fair of hair and blue of eye

Tue, 7 Dec 2010: How was your night? We finally put Tiger(cat, nocturnal) in the garage with a pile of pillows and blankets, so we could get some sleep. The night before he jumped into our bed five times and I went to work feeling like a zombie.
I forwarded you instructions on how to change roommates for next semester. You only have tomorrow to do this. Go to Z Hall during the day, ask for a single room or find a fit. Someone who doesn’t have friends over non-stop. Someone considerate. Mom

last night was good, Anya passed out at like 11:15 so i finished the movie we were all watching and went to sleep too.

Alex, Dad is trying to get in contact with his Army buddy, Van Zeeland. He responded on his facebook, but the guy is hardly ever on. Dad looked at Van Zeeland’s pictures last night, his whole family is posted. He has a cute son, one year older than you, goes to U of M. Why don’t you contact him and say your fathers were friends in Germany, haha. Include a picture of yourself, maybe you can hook up, wouldn’t that be a hoot. Hey, he’s fair of hair and blue of eye… Mom

umm never say hoot ever again unless ur impersonating an owl
ill look him up on facebook, but in M? and does that mean he has light hair and blue eyes? Alexandra

Yes, it means blond and blue eyed, according to Tituba. I’m reading the Salem Witch trials again. Mom

Text on Wednesday, Dec. 8: Got a new room. Still in same dorm, but 5^th floor. Alexandra

Good. With whom?

Frannie X, she seems nice, I found her on fb and my friend moved to the same floor so yay

okay so my new room is 514 and so i have to move everything out on the 19th and move everything into 514 on january 18th sooooo yeah
nd im done with some classes so i can return the books so do u wanna do that on friday when you pick me up because you paid with your debit card
so anyways thats the new news

A mother's intuition

Fri, 1 Oct 2010: i went to the mixer last night but im wide awake now bright and early for my 9:30 class

Hey, we’re on to meet Bruce Tango next Friday, Oct. 8^th, at 7:15 for the ghost event. Don’t make plans for that day, okay. Mom

yay!!!!! a perfect way to end a stressful friday
next friday i have a math test, a speech and a paper due...woo!

Where was the party last night and what was the theme? I’ll be up there about 9 o’clock tonight.

well its raining really hard so it might be cancelled but idk so ill let u know but u dont have to run here after work
party was at x, the frat was really nice the theme was corporate ceos so they wore like business suits and skirts and stuff i wore that blouse from forever 21
it was fun but then our driver got lost in downtown x for like an hour till the sober sister downloaded a gps on her phone and got us back lol anyway have to eat then on to history

Lost in downtown x is like a suicide trip, very dangerous and scary. Not good. Damn it, Al, that’s why I woke up last night and started praying. You would never survive your freshman year without my prayers…Mom

lol yes i would! we were in the nice part of x and we didnt stop to ask for directions cuz we didnt wanna die lol but it was funny a car full of innocent girls in x, its comical =]
so the game is still on so ill see u at like 9ish
btw i thought of title for your book, the “what would molly maguire do” = If Only

because a lot of times she wishes she was smart, courageous and strong like molly was so she finds herself thinking if only she were like her and saying if only this didnt happen and stuff like that. She keeps thinking about the if's in life so.... If Only xo Alexandra

Shootings and Prayers

Tuesday, September 28, 2010: Judy,

Did you drive Beth back to campus this morning or last night? What did you do with the rest of the weekend? They had a good time together, great that they stay in touch. 

Al argued with her father about history, she is learning stuff that he can’t keep up with, it’s funny to listen to. Our drop-off routine is pretty much the same every time: She watches a show on Sunday night at seven, then at eight either I, or Roy and I together, drive her back, help her carry stuff to her building, but do not go upstairs, b/c it’s such a hassle to sign us in, leave our drivers licenses, and remember to pick them up on the way out. So we just drop her off, sometimes we get a kiss, mostly not, only when the kid before us hugs his parents, then I can hug her, too. I always laugh because on Friday afternoon it’s like an exodus, everybody is leaving campus, and on Sunday night the opposite happens, the mommies and daddies are dropping their kids off with bags of groceries and laundry bags, bye-bye, see you Friday, just like an extended day care center.

I told her about the Seton Hall incident (shooting), but she knows everything and knows what she’s doing, so she just rolls her eyes, but I still preach to her every week. Later, Heather

LOL! Too funny - I love your analogy to an extended day care center! :-) 

Yup - the Seton Hall thing was really scary, and today there was a shooting at Texas U......what's going on with this world?   

The "partying" Alexandra and others do doesn't bother me that much, but the fact that the partying isn't on campus is a bit scary.....I mean....the parties are in downtown x.....off campus near other schools too....in not so good areas......that you're in that environment with a bunch of strangers whose character you don't know - that's scary to me...I would be much more comfortable if everything took place ON campus for some reason - although that's probably just a false sense of security at best.......hopefully though, she's thinking with her head.....I of course will continue to pray for her......Judy

Everything's cool, I hope...

Thu, 23 Sep 2010: Mother’s email to a friend: I haven’t heard from Al in two days…Okay, she just texted me that she is in class. How can I stop worrying and imagining the worst? It’s very frustrating. Help. Heather

You can't - that's your job to worry.........now it's up to her.... 

And you can pray, and be a positive influence when she's at home.......maybe find out by talking why she needs to be so "active" with partying...usually, a weekend party is enough-she must be filling a need by doing it so often...and you won't know about her grades for awhile......but I pray for her all the time. Judy

Thanks for praying, I pray for the three of them every morning and night. She only parties at school, on the weekends she sits at home with us like a saint. She’s got 3 As in history so far (I guess homework and stuff like that). She loves her future sorority and they include her and she just loves it, I keep harping that she doesn’t need to drink to have fun. Heather

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 Are you up? When did you get home from the party last night? Please tell me about it, I’m really curious. No problems or trouble, right? Mom

haahahaha it was sooo fun no problems or troubles

Is the nest half full or half empty if they come home on the weekends?

Sunday, September 5^th, 2010: My husband Roy and I dropped our daughter Alexandra off at her dorm on campus, which is only 25 miles away. It was hard for us to say good-bye, but finally Al pushed us out the door. We drove home in silence.

When we got home the house felt empty and sad, even the pets couldn’t fill our emptiness. Roy called a friend who also just sent off his daughter to college, but the in-laws were there and it wasn’t possible for Roy to go over there to have someone to commiserate with. He stayed home and drank a few bottles of beer which he never does, only when we have visitors or go out. I tried to take a nap but couldn’t relax, so I texted Alexandra to find out what she was doing.

She texted back that it’s all good, that she and her roommates were hanging out at the Upper Classmen dorm and that they were having a blast. I asked, “Why are you at the Upper Classmen dorm? (Somebody knew someone there). One group of kids (boys) has an apartment so large or long that they use a scooter to wheel to the bathroom with. They also decorated the living room with inflatable dolls…oh, they’re so cool (Mom is rolling her eyes).

The next day I sent her an email: Hi Alex,

How is everything? Did you have the floor meeting last night? Did you know any kids from home? What else did you do?

We are fine, but your father took two anxiety pills, drank three beers, and passed out for four hours. Tom wasn’t available; otherwise Dad would have gone there to take his mind off things. Max slept by your bedroom door all night, Tiger only cares about his food bowl being full. Cats are like that; they don’t mope around like dogs. My class starts tomorrow, I’m excited even though it’s math and will surely kill me. Let me know what’s going on, Mom.