Greek Life

Friday 9/17/2010

morning!!!!
i love greek life, i went to a party last night with the sisters from XYZ and they are sooo nice! they have designated drivers and girls that are called sober sisters, everyone gets a sober sister to make sure the other isnt doin anything stupid and this way they always have a buddy so no one is alone and bad things wont happen to them. we went to the baseball house, it was really fun and the guys are really nice...and hot! the theme was gangsta music vs country music so you had to dress in whatever you like better. i chose gangster because i hate country music, i wore sweatpants with boxers underneath so i could pull my pants down low lol! and a red cami with a black cami over it...with two shelf bras built in and my padded bra...my boobs looked fabulous!! and get this my RA is in XYZ so i went over and knocked on her door to see what she's wearing because i didnt wanna dress all themed and then get there and everyone else is normal clothes and then look like the idiot who went to a party in pajamas lol but she was wearing sweats too and said that most of the sisters are wearing this too. and she said that she was one of the drivers and had to go to the meeting spot a lil early and said she would knock on my door when she was leaving and we could go together, so i went to a party with my RA... but yea everyone is really nice and friendly and they really do look out for each other so i really think its a good fit for me. i can't pledge till next semester though cuz im a freshman and u need a certain GPA to get in and in your first semester you dont really have a GPA till the end of it anyways soo. thats that but im still allowed to hang out with them and see what they are all about
anyways i just got done with class so im gonna nap, shower and do homework =]
xo Alexandra
i hope everything is okay with Beth and Maggie i mean yea there are ups and downs like right now im really happy being here and sometimes i really wanna go home so hopefully its not a downer for them all the time

Glad to hear you’re having fun, just one word of advice: Don’t drink in front of your RA (or otherwise), she might seem cool, but you don’t know if she keeps a record of her underage drinkers which would work against you. Remember, in this world you can trust nobody, only dogs and your mother.

You are not a party pooper if you don’t drink, that is so yesterday. To be cool nowadays is to cover your butt and protect yourself, everybody just cares about themselves. Just tell them you’re German/Irish and did all your drinking in your youth in Europe where it’s legal, it sounds cooler anyway. You are now free to move on to soda.

But you sound like you’re making smart decisions and I am proud of you. One drink is enough, and always guard that drink, you know what could happen.

Stay gold, love, Mom

thanks
and please tell daddy that to wait with the batman movie cuz i wanna see it really bad

Parties and stuff

Mother's email to a friend:

So far Alexandra spent her weekends mostly with us, all her friends are away in college, and when they do come home, they have to study. But she parties during the week and just wants to sleep on the weekends, really. Heather

 I’m sure it will sort itself out over time and she will visit friends at other colleges, right now she wants to connect with home, funny, isn’t it? Maureen

Thu 9/16/2010 Good morning,

Another day gone and down the drain. That’s why we have to make the best of every day we have, otherwise you’re just wasting your life away. By being on your own away in school, studying, using your mind, meeting new people, trying different things (not drugs and alcohol, that just deceives you) you are living every day to the fullest. I try to do the same: at least one hour of math, an hour of writing, and an hour of reading every day, to keep the brain exercised. That’s the only way I can think of not wasting my life. I still do fun stuff, like, uh, write and read, haha, and walk your dog and staying in touch with friends, and eat and coffee and chocolate, and best of all, hearing from you.

You have to tell me more about Greek life when you come home. Dad rented “The Prince of Persia”, it was actually pretty good. He also got the Batman cartoon, maybe he’ll wait for you to come home to watch it with. Tiger is just his cute meowing self and Max is Max. Yesterday we covered the pool with the new cover and he ran all over it. Then we had wind gusts and it turned comical, something to send to “America’s Funniest Videos.” We were actually covered under the pool cover for a moment. When we finally had it on top of the pool, the wind picked up again and blew it up so it looked like a dome. We were so frustrated, but now it looks okay.

Anyway, no other news since yesterday,

See you tomorrow around five o’clock, Love always, Mom

Math and the Greeks

Still Wednesday:
Al,you can’t imagine how happy I am to get such upbeat e-mails. I know right now you live from weekend to weekend, but eventually it will get easier to stay on campus, I promise.

It’s actually great; you are away during the week in a fun environment with everybody in the same boat (away from home) and home on weekends and holidays. You’re on your own but not totally. College is like a buffer between home and the big world. Don’t give up, it’s doable. I might fail math but I will finish the semester and give it a shot.

Love you lots, Mom

=]
i still have 2 classes. next i have history...i really like that class actually and then i have music fundamentals for 3 hours...blahhhhhhhh
i like that class but i just dont like how long it is
anyways i have to go catch the bus to get to history now
peace xo Alexandra

And when you’re done, the day is almost over, see. Anyway, I am tackling passing scientists here at work with algebra questions. Without them I would be lost for sure. If I pass, I will bring in a cake to celebrate.

I hope you have time to eat lunch on busy Wednesdays. Mom

i do have time to eat lunch and i can eat dinner after my last class i just dont want to right now
i signed up for XYZ (sorority) =] and my RA who lives right across the hall from me is in that sorority so i can ask her like anything. i saw Lauren at meet the greeks too at her sororities booth and i kinda feel bad cuz she wants me to sign up for hers too and i was like being friendly about it but i really dont wanna be in that sorority cuz shes crazyyy
anyways have a good night and ill talk to u in the A.M. =] Alexandra

Crazy weather and my class

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 Hey, today is Tuesday – October according to your way of thinking.

Did you find out anything about the sorority you want to join yet?

We had a thunderstorm last night around 7, I had to turn off the computer, but it didn’t last too long. How was it up there? Was it fun to watch in a safe house? Any of your roommates scared? The guys were probably hiding under their blankets…

I have class tonight, yippee. Later, Mom

it was crazy here during the storm....really windy and buckets of rain, a group of us was tryin to get to dinner in the caf. which is 2 ft away and we couldn’t even do that because we watched others come back in from the dining hall and got soaked in those 2 seconds of being outside,
thankfully it didnt take long for it to pass
one of our elevators is broken so now it takes even longer so now i have to take the stairs to make sure i get out and to class on time
yay its tuesday only 4 more full days till i get to come home and we can go to the Irish festival......and the dentist....yayyyyyyyyyyyy lol

Wed, 15 Sep 2010: I do hope though that you still enjoy being on campus and not just count the days until you come home. Do enjoy every day, like I said, you’ll never have it as good again: No bills, no cooking, no cleaning, and fifteen hours mean full-time. Homesickness will get better over time, believe me.

Last night at my math class a student of Asian descent got mad at a guy who made the remark: “This is like Chinese to me, or like Chinese surgery.” He felt offended, biased against Asians, and the professor had to step in and break up what could have escalated into an ugly fight. The other guy apologized, but it wasn’t good enough for the Asian who kept harping about how offended he felt. Crazy. There are lots of different races in my classroom. It’s an interesting mix and conflict can happen, but we learn a lot from each other, it’s great. I was surprised, not shocked, but amazed how quickly something can escalate. No wonder there are always wars in the world. I’m certainly learning a lot of math, but it is very hard and I need to practice every day for at least two hours and have our scientists here at work explain stuff to me. I will be so glad when it’s Christmas and I’m done with this semester. If only I make it through math, the rest should be a lot easier.

Have a great day, Love, Mom

PS: Did you go to class yesterday? You kept mailing at all hours of the day.

hmmm thats never really happened in any of my classes ever, I guess its because my generation is so used to having all different cultures in our classes.
today is meet the greeks yay!!!
yes i went to class yester, i only had from 9:30 to 10:45 so i was done and then i did all my homework and stuff. today i'll be in class for forever! till 7:15, I'm in my english class right but don't worry I already did all my work cuz i'm awesome like that
okay see ya later!xo Alexandra

Briefing about her dorm

Friday, 9/10/2010: i would like to go home today...but take your time. Alexandra

Okay.

Can you please try to hook up the printer with the cable and see if you get it to work? This way I can drive you back on Sunday without Dad and just drop you off, or do you want us to be in your room again for an hour? Mom

yes im going to after my history class cuz i dont have time now cuz i have to be at the bus stop in like 10 min in order to get there are on time

Good morning, how was it last night after I dropped you off?
When did Anya (her roommate) come back?

Mon, 13 Sep 2010:

Could you please give Roni the author a brief description about your dorm? She needs it for her YA book. Mom

Good morning!
Anya didnt come back till just now cuz she doesnt have a class till 2
Me and Christine watched the VMAs yesterday after Kate went to someone else's dorm and then we watched this crazy show called Snapped its about ordinary people who just lose it and kill people....true cases. Anyway I woke up really early...i dont have a class until 11:15 and I woke up at like 9:30 lol
so i'm gonna get all my books together and then go to breakfast.
see ya soon!

tell Roni in my dorm we have a game room and a laundry room as well as a floor lounge and a small room with vending machines in it
there's a front desk when you walk in where you swipe you ID and sign in guests. There’s a community kitchen on the first floor and the mail room is down there too. There is also a community meeting room where some meetings like signing up for Student Council are held. On each floor where the dorm rooms are is a lounge with some chairs and a tv as well a small sitting area on each end of the hallway...floor meetings are held either in the lounges or in the sitting areas. Also right when you get off the elevators is a large bulletin board where events and important notices are posted.
Each room (in my building) is equipped with a full bathroom that is shared by you, your roommate and your suitemates and each individual bedroom comes with a small fridge/freezer and a microwave. XoAlexandra

great 'teary' article

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/14Rparent.html?scp=1&sq=The%20Nest%20gets%20closer%20to%20empty&st=cse

9/9/2010: Wow, interesting stories. Yes, it’s hard, but doable if you do it asap, not let it pile up. Everyone there is going through the same thing.

The kids they arrested, were they students or did they come from the outside? Crazy. What a way to ruin your future. I hope you are strong enough to sneer at that kind of crap (drugs, alc…)

Yeah, might as well come home after the game on Sat night, then fill out mall applications. If that doesn’t work, try other places on campus. Just for a few hours for spending money.

If college seems hard, imaging how hard your working life would be with no education and the hardest work for the longest hours. Just pace yourself and take it serious. University Y is a lot harder, sweets. But you do have some fun, to make it doable, right? How is music class?

Now when you return the music book, just tell them that you got two copies but only got charged once, so there’s no money back. They will realize that this is a very honest thing to do, you will feel better, and it might open up doors for future jobs. Everything is always connected, you will see that throughout life.

Always strive to do the right thing, it will pay off, trust me. Mom

i only had 1 class so im doin the hw from yesterday cuz i did not have time since i was in class literally all day yesterday...and i was doing my math hw in the laundry before while i was waiting for my clothes to come out of the wash
and i have been printing out my hw in the computer lab cuz i found it its free to print out 500 pages per semester... hopefully i dont have to print out more than that! so dont worry i have been handing my hw in on time, ill be going over there after my wash is done.

I am so proud of you, first of all your writing has already improved and you sound very mature. I’m thrilled and you are on the way of becoming an even more awesome person.

I guess the weed sellers got weeded out, haha.

Something very important to keep in mind to keep you going and why: There is a difference between a high school diploma and a college degree. In hs you were spoon-fed, had little homework (remember the years before hs, you had 4 hours of hw every day and you just did it, on top of Dance and Scouts). In hs students develop bad habits b/c little hw and as long as you show up it’s cool. Well, in college you have to challenge yourself, manage your time (i. e. if you have no time for gym b/c of study or hw, walk the stairs whenever you can and go hungry for a couple hours, because it sucks if the pants get too tight and you have no time to work out) stuff like that. But no college accepts students who they think cannot do the work, that’s why they want to see grades and tests over a period of time. Colleges want kids to succeed, not drop out b/c they’re overwhelmed. So University X is a good start for you, it’s doable once you get used to working more than in hs again. Here’s a secret: Six weeks is the magic point: by then you are so used to it that you’ve got it down, the homesickness has gone away, you’re part of the campus and will probably love it. Mark it in your calendar and see how you feel on October 10, but that’s Halloween month anyway, so it’s even better.

Have fun doing laundry, (now it’s my turn to laugh) just think of Jon’s brother in Garfield, what was his name? He loves to watch the socks go around in circles…Later, Mom

Thu 9/9/2010: I hate math, I’m stupid and I can’t do it, but I paid for the course and now I have to. My math book cost $150, jeez. My professor is really nice and fun, so we’ll see. Why can’t I just study Shakespeare? Did you get a cable? Mom

lol my math class is hard too but thats just cuz its math
i'm gonna get the cord later after either my english or history class cuz thats when i have time
yesterday while u were sitting in math me and my roomates had a movie night and watched sex and the city lol
xo Alexandra

I still want to know how it’s going with the printer. The bottom line is that you can print out your homework from somebody’s or the computer lab’s printer and not lose points, until the issue is resolved.

What are your plans for the weekend? Do you know yet? Last Friday I was able to leave at 3pm because of the holiday, but from now on I will probably not be there until about 6. Traffic, plus I have to work until 4, keep that in mind. But you can nap, start homework, do whatever until 6, okay? Some Fridays I will take off half day to pick you up earlier, but not always. We’ll have to play it by ear (stupid expression).

Whatever you decide for the weekend is fine. I have homework now too, gah. Mom

i just got a usb cord from the bookstore so after i do 134446766448766789 hours of hw ill hook it up and try it again
i didnt get the job at the theatre b/c it was already all full which i dont know how that happened since i was one of the first applicants but whatever so when i come ill go to the mall and get applications and if i work at the mall i'll just come home on the weekends to work, no big deal.
yesterday, my friends and i were sitting outside of xxx hall...one of the dorm buildings and all of a sudden like 5 cop cars showed up and 20 min later they brought out 7 kids in handcuffs nd they confiscated 3 gallon bags full of weed...i guess they were dealin but yeah we had a front row seat to a very interesting show
anyway, i have to go do laundry now cuz im running out of clothes cuz i havent done it since last week
oh and the football game is on sat...idk what time but ill prob be home after? idk ill call you when its over
xoAlexandra
p.s. college is hard! but its fun

Tue, 7 Sep 2010: E-mail from daughter: We didn't really do much last night, just hung out and then went to bed lol we were all really tireddd! dad is crazy!!! haha have fun in math! i have to do some hw then laundry and then go to the gym lol
xoAlexandra

So everything or most things are still “All Good?"Great. I just hope the printer works out for you. Let me know if you can work with it or if we should bring our old one up. Hopefully it will connect, I guess asking a guy to help won’t hurt. You have to be able to hand your work in, that’s what’s important.

Well, sounds like you’re doing the right things. Yep, gym is good and walking and taking the steps instead of elevator sometimes, it’s the little things that count that keep you fit. Pets are fine, we are too, don’t worry, we are always there for you. Love, Mom

ummm its not connecting...i guess i need to get a USB or maybe a different printer altogether
ill go to the computer lab later to print out my hw so at least ill have that nd wont get points off
i miss the pets, i wish they could come visit but they're not allowed to but yes pretty much everything is still all good in the hood

How about getting a USB cord at the bookstore and hook it up together, hopefully that will help. Let me know as soon as you have the printer going.

if i get it going. i dont even know what kind of usb cord i need or where it even goes on the printer.. w/e ill figure it out. Alex

(After the weekend) Beth said that Maggie texted her - she said she was back at school by 3pm yesterday and she didn't do anything at home.........yeah, but you don't have to DO anything - just being "home" and seeing family is nice, no?   

Dad just called and he said there should only be one USB cable, not several different ones to choose from, I think they’re all the same, but check your manual or bring it to the bookstore with you. Then connect the printer to the computer with the USB cable and run the CD through again. Where it says “USB cable” click that instead of wifi, okay?

Hopefully it will work, ‘rents

lol okay

ummm never say rents ever again k thanks =]

Okay. Weird. (Mom)

Why I am sharing our experience

We just survived our daughter's first year of college. Everything that I imagined could happen happened. Wrong roommates, partying, home sickness, a friend's alcohol poisoning, average grades, and 2AM texts to get her out of there. But it was good too in a way. She learned to manage and grew emotionally. The second semester went much smoother and she had good grades. She pledged to the sorority of her choice and called us at one in the morning when she got her bid.
For you parents out there who don't know what you're getting into in a couple of months, or for you who know and would like to compare war stories, I created this blog titled: A child's first year of college from the parents' point of view: Is the nest half full or half empty if they come home on the weekends?
Why do I use parent in singular form even though her father lives under the same roof? Because it is different for the men who, as in our case, snore away obliviously on the couch while the mother gets texts and horror emails from her only child away in college. The father gets clued in when the drama is over and the kid has moved on.
I will give you detailed updates at least once or twice a week about the previous year (I saved all our emails). Since I already know that it has a happy ending, I can give you the gory details without worrying you too much.
For privacy, I have changed all names.
Now come along for the ride...

Is the nest half full or half empty if they come home on the weekends?

Sunday, September 5^th, 2010: My husband Roy and I dropped our daughter Alexandra off at her dorm on campus, which is only 25 miles away. It was hard for us to say good-bye, but finally Al pushed us out the door. We drove home in silence.

When we got home the house felt empty and sad, even the pets couldn’t fill our emptiness. Roy called a friend who also just sent off his daughter to college, but the in-laws were there and it wasn’t possible for Roy to go over there to have someone to commiserate with. He stayed home and drank a few bottles of beer which he never does, only when we have visitors or go out. I tried to take a nap but couldn’t relax, so I texted Alexandra to find out what she was doing.

She texted back that it’s all good, that she and her roommates were hanging out at the Upper Classmen dorm and that they were having a blast. I asked, “Why are you at the Upper Classmen dorm? (Somebody knew someone there). One group of kids (boys) has an apartment so large or long that they use a scooter to wheel to the bathroom with. They also decorated the living room with inflatable dolls…oh, they’re so cool (Mom is rolling her eyes).

The next day I sent her an email: Hi Alex,

How is everything? Did you have the floor meeting last night? Did you know any kids from home? What else did you do?

We are fine, but your father took two anxiety pills, drank three beers, and passed out for four hours. Tom wasn’t available; otherwise Dad would have gone there to take his mind off things. Max slept by your bedroom door all night, Tiger only cares about his food bowl being full. Cats are like that; they don’t mope around like dogs. My class starts tomorrow, I’m excited even though it’s math and will surely kill me. Let me know what’s going on, Mom.